Skulduggery Pleasant- A Game of Romance
by Allen Bowden
Summary: As romance starts to bloom between Valkyrie and Fletcher Renn it sparks an unlikely romance between Skulduggery and China
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It was cold in the tunnels beneath the Sanctuary. "What are we doing down here?" Valkyrie asked as they trudged through the lower depths of the Sanctuary. "Well my dear. We are detectives and we are working on a case. So we are doing our research." Valkyrie sighed. 'Beep' it was her phone. She looked at Skulduggery. He looked back at her with his hollow eye sockets. He knew who it was. It was Fletcher Renn, her boyfriend with stupid hair, "Fine. But if he teleports here I will punch him. In the face. With fire." Skulduggery didn't like Fletcher. He was arrogant, egotistical and had really stupid hair. "Fine" She responded with her usual sarcastic tone "Hay Fletch don…"

"Hay" Fletcher said from behind her. And as promised Skulduggery punched him in the face, fortunately for him it was not with fire. "Whoa what the hell was that for." He said rubbing his nose. "You were warned" Skulduggery said with the tone that suggested that he was smirking.

"No I wasn't"

"Oh" there was a long pause "My mistake I warned Val" he said laughing. Valkyrie helped him up and wiped the blood away from his face. And gave him a kiss. "To be fair he did say he was going to do it with fire. So that's a plus." She said trying to cheer him up.

Skulduggery had walked on as all the soppiness was make the place where is stomach use to be turn. "Fletcher as much as I enjoy looking at you gravity defying hair and the annoying way you talk we are on a case to what do you want" Skulduggery shouted from the other end of the corridor.

"Well" Fletcher said dodging yet another punch from Skulduggery "I was think I could give you a break from my delightful girlfriend"

"You just want to take her out don't you?" He said

"Well yeah but the way I put it made it sound more advantageous to you"

"Advantageous. That's a big word for you isn't it Fletcher"

"Yeah Val used it the other day sounded like a fun word to say."

"Fine. Just don't keep her up all night again like last time because 1. You guys and not quite and 2 we are working a case that is very important."

"Wait you have heard us?" He said with a hint of embarrassment in his voice

"Fletcher I am a dead man I have no need for sleep. Now I don't mind you guys making sweet music, as you call it, in my house. Hell Val isn't a little girl any more but seriously keep it down. I would like to keep some of my sanity." There was along lingering silence and then Fletcher teleports back to Val. "Hay did you know that Mr. Bone-jangles can hear us when we…you know"

"Have sex" she said interrupting him "Yes I am aware of that fact the last time it happened he gave me the same speech he just gave you. Something about how he would like to keep his sanity" She lent in and gave him a kiss. "So where are we going" she said with her hand on his waist.

"Well I know this really nice sushi place in Tokyo or we could get hot dogs in New York."

"It's up to you Fletch"

"We could always go to my apartment in New Zealand and watch some films" she looked at him. Valkyrie new exactly what he meant by 'watch some films' he wanted to fuck. "Sure" she said with a sexy grin and just like that they were gone.

Skulduggery's phone rang in his pocket. It was China. China was currently in her library and was the only woman (apart from his now decided wife) whom he hand some sort of emotional connection to. Now Skulduggery know that China only called when she wanted something. "Hello Sweetie" China said from the other end of the phone "Must you insist on calling me that." He said "You know it bugs me"

"Oh I know and that's why I do it Sweetie" she said with a giggle that could make 1000 men fall to their knees. "What do you want China" Skulduggery said with a hint of annoyance

"Why do you always think I want something you are always so untrusting of me by handsome skeletal friend"

"Because you only ever call when you want something"

"Fine" She said with a huff "I was feeling lonely and wanted to know if you wanted some company"

"I'll be over in 10" he said as he hung up the phone…


	2. Chapter 2

There was a knock on the door of China Sorrows chamber.

"Just a minute" she said. She had just got out of the bath and strolled towards the door. Her assistant, a plucky young sorcerer who only started a few days ago, tried to give her her robe but China ignored it and opened the door. There stood the slim skeletal figure of Skulduggery Pleasant.

"Must you always answer the door naked China?" he said deadpan. China was the most beautiful person who had ever walk the earth and everyone who saw her fell in love with her. However Skulduggery seemed somewhat immune to her powers.

"What don't you like what you see?" She said with a smirk. Her body was still wet from the bath and it glistened under the candlelight of her chamber.

"On the contrary" he said " it's very pleasing to the eye, if I had any, and it I had the appropriate organs I'm sure they would respond accordingly"

"Oh really. I never knew you had those thoughts about me"

"I'm a relatively hot blooded man" he said with quotation marks around the word "blooded". China laughed and leant in for a kiss.

"I'm glad this is just between us" she whispered into the place where his ears should be.

They appeared in New Zealand. Fletchers apartment was well furnishish and the DVD collection he owned was vast. But her favourite room, of course, was the bedroom. "So" Fletcher said in his usual cocksure tone. "Shall we talk this to the bedroom or do you want to eat first?" She kissed him placing her hand on the back of his neck.

"Can we get that pizza I like from Milan?" She said with a smile.

"Sure." and then he was gone.

She walked into the kitchen and popped the kettle on. She liked Fletcher. He was annoying but he was really good where it counted. The Kettle boiled and she poured herself a cup. She made her way to the bedroom and opened the wardrobe finding the lacy black underwear that she had brought for such a night. It was her night off and she was going to have fun. She took of her jacket and through it on the bed and then removed the rest of her clothes.

Her body was sleek and toned but still curvy and perky in all the right places. The underwear was expensive and she knew that he would like taking her out of it. She pulled the thong on and then put the bra on. Valkyrie jumped on the bed and waited for Fletcher to get back.


End file.
